Smile!!

Okay, so here's another bus ride epiphany for you.

I'm getting ready for work one morning and feeling pretty daring. Usually my work attire is a pair of pants and whatever shirt I own that isn't wrinkled. This day however, I decided that since the weather has been unexpectedly nice I'd wear a skirt. I even put on a little lipstick. Yeah BABY!! I'm workin' it now!

So I'm feeling pretty fly. That is, until I step outside. Not only is it frigidly cold but it's also raining torrentially. Picture Noah's Ark. And wouldn't you know it me without an umbrella. Of all the luck.

So of course, I don't have time to change, just run back in and grab the first umbrella I saw. Turns out it was one of those collapsible contraptions that flips inside out if you breathe too hard.

Now I'm standing at the bus stop shivering and soaked looking hopefully up the street for the bus. I've got my dollar out and everything, because I just KNOW the bus is going to show up any minute. Well it didn't. In fact it didn't show up for several minutes. The darn thing was ten minutes late and I was only 3 minutes from hypothermia and frostbite. (That'll teach me to control my girlish urges to dress up! I'll take warm and frumpy over frozen and cute any day!)

Needless to say at this point that my disposition is steadily wilting, just like the once crisp dollar bill I held in my frost covered fingers. Well the bus finally comes and I practically jump through the door dripping and shaking and veerrry close to causing outright mayhem in a public place.

So I'm trying to force my soggy dollar into the farebox and it just wouldn't work. I'm holding up the line and people are shifting in their seats. But what do I care! The bus was already late, a few more seconds ain't gonna kill ya! It was at this point that the bus driver said, very loudly and with MUCH attitude, "Could you please put your umbrella down so you don't get ME soaked?"

WHAT!!!???

My mind did one of those skips like an old CD. Mentally I just got stuck at that moment trying to figure out if this heifer really did say this to me. After she was LATE!! I think I slipped into one of those parallel bizzaro universes where everything is just plain backwards.

Some people just don't exercise wisdom. I'm already on the edge here. I'm about 2 seconds away from forcing this bus into oncoming traffic just to warm my hands in the blaze of the resulting explosion!

I was in a downward spiral and didn't care who I took with me!! I wanted to take my piece of crap umbrella and shove it down her nasty attitude having, warm and toasty sweater wearing, THROAT! But...(taking a deep breath to calm down here. WWOOOOOSSSSSAAAAHHH!!!) being the Christian that I am, I did none of these things. Suffice it to say, however, I gave the umbrella a good and vigorous shake before I put it down and found a dollar the machine would take. I'll repent Sunday.

I went to my seat thinking, "Whatever happened to customer service?" Hey, nobody forced her to be a bus driver. I mean, if you don't like the job then, by all means, quit!! Should the rest of us have to suffer from the bitterness you have over wasting your life in a dead end job. I THINK NOT!

All I'm saying is: Smile, people. The life you save could be your own!

Oh the Horror!!!!

I ride the bus to work everyday and I see all kinds of people. I usually reserve judgement on most but sometimes you just have to speak out.

To all my fellow people of color I have one word for you. LOTION!! Learn it, live it people.

I was sitting across the aisle from this woman and noticed nothing extraordinary about her in my perusal. That is, until I saw her ankles.
HOLY MOSES!!! My mind simply rebels at the thought that someone could actually expose this horror to the general public and NOT CARE!! There were impressionable young children present for God's sake!

Have some self-respect Lady!! I mean the woman was gray! I'm talking ASH GRAY!! And to add insult to injury she bent down to fix her shoelace COMPLETELY ingnoring the tragedy that was her own reptilian skin! Was she blind? Couldn't she feel the sandpaper texture? Couldn't she hear the scratch and scrape as her legs rubbed together? I think she almost started a fire. I had to physically fight back my gag reflex!

HONESTLY!!! If you're not going to fix it you could at least hide it. I should sue her for causing me Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I promise you, nightmares will ensue.

Please excuse me while I suffer a moment of Hysterical Blindness.

Why Not?

I can't act so I write. I can't dance so I write. I can barely sing so I write. I have this blog so I write. I may as well use the empty space right? So why not write.

Who Let You In?

Can you believe it? They let just anybody (namely me) rant and rave on the internet. I must try to use my power for good!
We'll see what happens.
Nu-A!!!!